When is it okay to cry? The overwhelming feeling of a big move

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

I don't know about my readers, but for me, I find that it can be really overwhelming to stand in the doorway of my bedroom and see my clothes (neatly) tossed over the chair in the corner and my stacks of books askew and wonder how in the heck am I going to get everything packed neatly so I can unpack it and know where everything is?

That was just one of my worries for my recent move, and yes, that worry was pretty surface level and turned out to be pretty silly because a) I'm not really that organized so I didn't end up minding that I couldn't find a few things (that's normal for me!) and b) I had other things to think about.

When I first moved to the Netherlands I was pretty overwhelmed about not having friends, not having a job lined up, not having a visa yet, not having accomodation and moving in with my partner who's lease was up on his apartment in 2 weeks.

I had a few stresses at that time.

I remember calling my mom and crying saying that I had no idea what I was doing with my life and she gave me simple advice that I think anyone who feels overwhelmed could benefit from:

1. You can't look at the big picture, you need to chop it up into little pieces.
My mom made a karate joke which only made me cry more, but she was right. I sat down and wrote out all of the things I needed to do to get my freelance visa and put them in a binder with a checklist. That same checklist is available for download here.

2. Write out your fears.
Once I wrote everything down and saw my fears on paper, I was able to tackle them one by one. So one of my biggest fears was not having friends. Seeing it written down on paper made it feel so silly to me! I have played soccer my entire life, if one of my fears was not having friends, I could join a soccer team. Problem solved.

3. IT'S OKAY TO CRY. Crying is just emotion leaving the body. Sometimes we all have too much emotion pent up and it spills over. I know I am not the only one who feels worlds better after a good cry.

4. Reach out for help. 
That one has always been tricky for me, but moms are always right. As soon as I realized that finding an apartment in 2 weeks was a herculean task that I couldn't take on on my own, I hired a dutch housing agent to help me find a room. In one week and 300 euros later, we had housing.

What are some of your greatest fears about a big move? Are you moving to The Netherlands and want someone to talk to? Reach out to me and let's chat! I'll give you a good mother's talkin' and we can talk through your fears together. :)


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